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The Awakening

I have found that one of the first steps to creating and living the life that you want, has to start with an awakening.

Most of us are living lives where we are merely surviving.  We are doing what we need to do to get by, and this is rarely conducive to healing.  

Part of becoming the person you want to be is allowing yourself to heal the things that are driving you to behave in ways that don’t feel authentic to you.  

That is why so many people have “ I will ____  when…” statements. They’ll live their life the way they feel deep down inside when they do xyz. What I have come to notice is xyz rarely comes, and when it does people are very disillusioned to find out that xyz might come to pass, but they are still themselves.  

They are still hiding and trying to avoid the same feelings that they were before it came to pass. It’s like the old saying that you can’t run away from your problems, because no matter where you go you’ll still be there. Our problems are rarely external.

Our external world is simply a reflection of our internal world.

So this is where the awakening comes in, when we begin to feel and notice that things are not the way we want them to be AND we decide we don’t want to stay this way anymore.  This is a crucial component.

Like I said earlier, most people already notice things are off, they know something just isn’t right, but they aren’t willing to put forth any effort to change it.  

The awakening comes when we no longer are willing to accept this is just part of life any more. When something inside of us calls out for something more, and we no longer push it down and shut it up.  

This is the calling deep inside that we all have. This is truly where the fun part of our adventures begin.


We are all  on this journey of life, ebbing and flowing through various aspects of good and bad.  Most people chose the familiar over the unknown, even something inside of them tells them the unknown will bring them to life.  

They are so scared of the unknown that they stay paralyzed in the familiar.

Our brains are programmed to autopilot very easily.  This helps us evolve.

We drive somewhere a few times and then we no longer have to think about it. That’s why when you have to drive past someplace familiar to get to someplace new, you often end up someplace familiar, and realize you were on auto-pilot.

Our brains work this way to help us, but it does make it harder when we want something different, especially if the familiar has been familiar for generations .

For example if our parents and grandparents always worked a 9-5 job, came home, ate dinner, watched tv, and went to bed to start all over again, we will too.  We crave familiarity because hundreds of thousands of years ago that kept us safe.

Here’s what isn’t safe — staying there.  

The reason I say this is not because jobs or familiarity are bad themselves.  When we chose to override that inner longing and calling, that’s when we are in for a lot of emotional turmoil.  

I often see in my own life, and my clients lives that when they are stifling their heart and passion they begin to notice outward symptoms.  

They see those symptoms as the problems themselves. They might even go to the doctor who treats the symptom. Treating symptoms doesn’t get to the root of what is really wrong.  

What is really causing the symptoms is stifling your inner dreamer, silencing your pain, blaming yourself, and a million other little things that just seem so natural to you.

We live in a world where it’s normal to be overweight, to be on antidepressants, to have all of these symptoms.  

When we begin to let our heart speak a little louder than our head, that awakening begins.  

We start to question.

This is a beautiful place. This is the adventure. This is where the excitement begins.  

It’s like if you stood in line your whole life but never knew why. Then one day you make it to the roller coaster.  

We begin to think bigger thoughts than feel possible. We begin to question if we really deserve to be treated the way we are being treated.  

Often times what people start with is being fed up with the symptoms.

They want to lose weight.

They hate their job.

They can’t stand being taken advantage of in relationships.  

They sense there’s something more.

The awakening.

How to Get to Living your Fullest Life

The first step is deciding and then allowing.

I know this sounds oversimplified, but hear me out.

Once you make this decision that something has to change, everything begins to line up to allow this change.  

Things begin to fall into place. Emotions come up that you haven’t felt in years, or maybe ever allowed yourself to feel.

People come into your life that weren’t there before. There’s unending possibilities of what can and will happen, but the shift has begun.  

This is where I find a lot of people get really scared.  They start to panic. They start to feel like they are on a dark road all alone with no map.  

This is where the most beautiful thing in the world comes in. FAITH.

In my experience having faith is the same as expecting miracles.  You trust something beautiful and amazing is happening to you.

I heard this perfect description of this part of the journey once.

Imagine This…

You are driving across the country.  You have your gps turned on, and it is night time.

You are now in the middle of nowhere on a wide open road. No one is around for miles.

You can only see the 300 feet in front of you that your headlights allow.  

You don’t stop going because you can’t see any further in front of you.

You don’t stop because you don’t know what is going to be up ahead.

No! You have faith that your gps, your headlights and your driving skills will get there.  

With each movement forward of your car, you see more of the road.

If you were to pull over, you’d be stuck only seeing 300 feet ahead of you.

This is part of your journey.

You get to trust that you are headed the right way, because your heart is your gps.  


Now I am definitely not telling you that by having faith you’ll just breeze through this transformational process.  

What I am telling you is that you can trust you are being guided, there is something better, you can live from a place of authenticity, and it can be scary at times, and have those feelings all at once.

Do it scared, it’ll be worth it.

Allow the awakening to transform you.

Another Analogy

In the Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast, at the end the beast is transformed back into a human.

Anyone who had met him recently wouldn’t think of him as a human, because they’d only known him as a beast.  

While I’m not at all comparing you to a beast, I just remember watching that movie as a kid and seeing the energy swirling around him as his body transformed.  

He wasn’t being transformed into something new, he was being transformed into his truest self.

The old lady knew he had to go through a process.

His awakening began when he saw Belle.  He instantly sensed something.

You might be sensing something now. You might be at that point where you are ready for change.

The thing I want to encourage you the most in is that:

You are not becoming someone new, you are stripping off the layers that are NOT truly you.

For a long time I lived my life as this sweet, timid push over.  

I always thought about other people first, stayed quiet and in the background, and was embarrassed of so many aspects of myself.  

These aspects of me came across as my personality, but it wasn’t truely me.

These were me trying to hide all my hurt, my fear, my insecurity and feel lovable.  

There were aspects of me in that, but I wasn’t living from a place of authenticity.

I was living from a place of fear.

Now I’m sweet because I want to be, not because I’m afraid someone won’t like me.  

I’m much more bold and confident now because I took the time to trust that inner guide that lead me to healing all of those insecurities and fears.

Does this mean I never have any moments of insecurity? Of course not.  Now I am able to recognize it quickly, because now it’s actually foreign to me.

allowed the awakening and trusted the process, and can say it was well worth it.

So to sum it all up let’s go over the steps to allowing your own awakening

  1. Acknowledge your discomfort is a sign.  It is not something to be silenced.
  2. What you see as problems, are just symptoms of a deeper rooted subconscious belief. Once you are able to see that, then addiction, fear, insecurity, codependency don’t feel like character flaws anymore.  They are beautiful messengers that you’ve been hiding from your pain instead of healing. There’s a good chance you’ve been doing it for longer than you know.
  3. Be patient with yourself.  Stay in it for the long run, it’ll be worth it.
  4. Always remember this is a season, and true healing brings freedom.  On the other side you will find the person who has been hiding inside all along.  It might feel new, and yet familiar at the same time.
  5. Don’t go it alone. You don’t don’t have to do this alone.  Not only is it ok to get help, its smart.  Why not work with someone who has already gone through the process, who understands the depth and complexity of what you are going through  Why not take the shortest path through. You deserve this freedom.

Most importantly — trust the process.  

You have come to this time because you were meant to live free, feel deeply loved, and alive.  This is all part of the great plan to awaken the person you were meant to be, and a part of you is so excited to break out of your cocoon and fly!

Why Getting Help is Not Weakness

Given the opportunity, most people would choose healing to be quick rather than slow.

You talk to someone who might have just had surgery, they don’t want their healing to go slowly.

You talk to someone who broke their ankle and are now on crutches, they don’t want their healing to go slowly.

These people want their life back. And they want their life back in the quickest way possible.

This is what I love about energy healing.

There are probably thousands of different modalities of healing. A lot of people might wonder, “why can’t I do this on my own?”

You can do it on your own.

It might take you a really long time, and you might not get where you want to go.

The beautiful thing about humans is we are not created to be alone.

We were created to need each other.

We each have wonderful gifts that we can share with each other.

So if you take the time to go to someone who has the gift of healing, that is farthest from weakness.

I would say it’s smart.

I spent my entire life trying to lose weight.

When I say my entire life, I don’t remember ever being happy with the way I looked.

It started as a very young child. I knew deep inside that my overweight was a symptom of the hurt and shame that I carried around.

In my mind, because I knew, everyone else did. Being overweight affected every aspect of my life.

I Associated my overweight with being unworthy and unlovable. I allowed people to walk all over me, and treat me like dirt.

The reason I did those things was because I believed I wasn’t worthy.

I associated all of those feelings and tag them all on my overweight.

The truth was the overweight was a symptom, and the actual problem was much much deeper.

Searching for Help

I spent time in therapy, in-patient and out-patient.

I have been on antidepressants.

I have tried church.

I have tried fasting, diets, extreme exercise, and even joined a weight loss cult.

I believed my overweight was the cause of me being unlovable, and was willing to do anything to get rid of it.

I just wanted to feel worthy of being loved.

But…. I was wrong that my excess weight had anything to do with my worthiness.

While going through all of these extreme measures I lost a few pounds and gained more back.

I would try a new diet and fail. Over time I began to believe I was a failure.

I have tried many modalities to find this healing.

Something deep inside of me told me that my being overweight had a deeper issue than just how much food I ate and how little I moved.

Now I know that thinking this defied conventional logic. Still I could not shake this unquenchable thirst to understand the depth of the problem.

I studied, researched, and used myself as a guinea pig.

One thing that kept me going was noticing there was something that was causing people to not be able to lose their weight, and it didn’t make any sense to me.

Some people would approach an idea and instantaneously lose all of their weight never to gain it back, and another person could approach the exact same idea and struggle relentlessly with little to no effect.

There had to be more.

I knew thin people who ate like crap. And I knew very overweight people who ate only healthy food.

There had to be more.

I tried many different modalities with some success.

I was able to stop bingeing on sweets, which I never believed would ever be possible.

I had seemingly little successes here and there but the excess weight stayed on.

The thing that kept me going was I could not get my weight off.

One day I just decided this obsession I had was deeper than vanity. In that moment I decided I would figure this out, and I would help as many people as I could overcome this.

I knew instinctively that being overweight was not the problem. So if it was a symptom, then what was the problem?

This is what I’ve spent years trying to understand.

This is Where Energy Healing Came In

The first time I came across the energy healing it was like of veil was lifted off of my eyes and I knew what I had always felt deep inside I was supposed to be doing.

I knew this was the answer.

Energy healing is the the modality that brought me complete healing.

If I look at my life today and compare it to my life before energy healing, it’s unfathomable the change that has happened.

This is why I have decided to dedicate my life to helping other people experience freedom that I have found.

At night I would lay awake wanting to find the answer, but fearing that there was no answer, there was no hope.

I could not succeeded at any diet, and I was too overweight to exercise. There had to be something more.

I Found It.

When a person struggles with what we call an addiction, or a behavior that they don’t want to be doing, there has to be more to it than just low willpower.

There has to be more to it than just pumping yourself up and forcing yourself to do it.

We all know those times when there’s something in our heart that just feels right, and that is effortless.

So why are we struggling to eat our broccoli, and not eat a bag of chips, or half of a cake when no one’s looking?

The answer has to do with energy…

I found that the energy that was stored in my body, and the beliefs that I had around those situations, were the things that were keeping me stuck.

Once I did the work, cleared that energy, the weight loss was effortless.

I begin to just not eat when I wasn’t hungry, without effort.

I began to want to eat food that made me feel good.

I began to look at junk food with disgust, effortlessly.

This doesn’t mean that I eat perfectly, or exercise daily, this is the life that I actually wanted.

Diet and exercise regimens didn’t seem like freedom to me.

When I look at little children I see a freedom.

They don’t think about wasting food, they don’t think about how much food cost, they don’t care how many calories are in food, they eat when they’re hungry and run off and play.

If you feed them something they don’t like, even if they’re hungry, they won’t eat it.

If you feed them a bowl of ice cream and they get full they just run off and play and let it melt.

This is what I wanted, this is freedom in my eyes.

I wanted to be natural.

I didn’t want to think about it.

I didn’t want my life to be consumed with how many calories I was eating, if something had carbs in it, if something had too much trans fat in it.

Freedom to me was never having to think about it again .

I spent decades wondering if this freedom I dreamed of was even possible, I now live that life.

I live the life I dreamed of. This is why energy work is so important to me. This is why I have such a deep intense passion for it.

In the matter of 2 months my life went from someone who…

  • had no control around food whatsoever
  • thought the only way to stay thin was to eat raw vegetables and fruit for the rest of my life
  • and who based my value and worth on the number of a little box I stood upon

and my life transformed to now…

  • Waking up in the morning and not even thinking about food
  • When I get hungry, I eat whatever I want
  • I automatically just want something that makes me feel amazing
  • Foods that make me feel awful, disgust me

This is all because of energy healing.

I allowed myself to ask for help.

And that help was not weakness, that help was strength.

Someone else came along side me and held me up and believed in me and worked with me to clear all the stored energy that was in my body and in my subconscious causing me to have no control around food.

Not only did I not have any control around food, I felt completely unworthy of love, I felt completely disgusting, and hated myself.

For decades I couldn’t even look in the mirror.

This energy healing that I asked for helped forever changed my life.

So when someone asks me, “why can’t I do this alone?”

My question to them would be, “why would you?”

When someone asks me, “why energy work?”

My answer is – because it’s quick, and thorough.

Does Talk Therapy Work

So, to start off….

Talk Therapy would simply mean chatting with another individual about your issues. It could be with a licensed professional or with a friend.

In this article I’m going to share my thoughts on talk therapy and also share something that has worked much better for me.

I think the Human Experience is meant to be lived together.

I think that we are meant to cohabitate as a whole.

That being said I believe that our society is severely lacking in that cooperation and community that we used to have.

What I’ve found now is that people live in a society where hurt and pain are hidden. And when we hide that hurt and pain, we create a world of shame.

Shame tells us there’s something wrong with us, guilt tells us there’s something wrong to fix.

When we live in a cycle of shame, we tend to hide.

Hiding is our worst enemy.

Here’s what I found about talk therapy

People have a deep-seated sense that they want to be understood. This is a beautiful human quality.

We want someone to understand us, to acknowledge us, to feel us, to feel our pain and joy.

We have adapted to this modality of healing by going in and talking to someone…

once a week…

twice a week…

three times a week…

We share hurts, we share struggles, we get advice.

But what I have found is the people continue to go to therapy for years.

They say they are feeling better, they get put on anti-depressants, and they feel a small amount of relief.

But I believe what they’re finding when they go to therapy in that small amount of relief, is there finding someone to understand them.

What they are finding is not necessarily help, but someone who understands them.

Being able to find someone who understands them would be beautiful in a natural environment. The problem is people carry so much shame and hurt that they can’t be themselves around other people and so they can’t ever feel truly understood.

This creates an environment where we have to seek out someone to listen and help us heal.

Comparing Talk Therapy to Energy Healing

When it comes to energy healing, what I love about it is that it actually gets to the root of the problem must faster.

And then people start to feel understood by themselves.

They start to understand themselves, love themselves, have compassion for themselves.

Energy work is different than therapy because there’s not a long drawn-out process.

It’s a renewal. It’s not just an acknowledgement of pain, followed by coping skills, it’s healing.

When there’s a trauma to someone what happens is energy is stored in their body, it’s packed away to be dealt with at a later time.

The problem with that is that overtime people forget that it was ever even there.

They begin to display behaviors that they think of as their personality.

But what they are displaying is actually manifestations of that stored energy.

So if you find yourself:

  • being irritable often
  • tired even though you’re sleeping plenty
  • eating junk food that makes you feel awful and you don’t know why

These are symptoms of stored energy in your body that is never been allowed to be released.

Often times you’ll see people that have gone through similar experiences but they both have different reactions.

And what they have found is the difference between those two people is how they process the trauma in the moment.

So two people go through the same situation.

One person deals with the trauma in the moment, allows themselves to feel all of the emotions, and then moves on from there.

The other person forms some sort of belief in that moment about what they are feeling, what they are thinking, what happened to them, is something that needs to be hidden or shoved away.

This is when the energy gets stored in their body.

This could have happened years or even decades ago. over time the person begin to manifest symptoms of that stored energy.

The reason why talk therapy is often not as effective as energetic healing is because talk therapy is reliving and agitating that stored energy in the body.

When you go for a deep energetic healing, you’re actually clearing out the energy stored in the body AND the belief that came along with that energy that created the patterns in the person’s life that they are now having symptoms from.

Energetic healing is something that a lot of people don’t know about.  It is a very quick process of transformation.

A good energetic healer will be able to pinpoint the situation that started causing the stored energy in a person’s body.

They’ll be able to look past the symptoms, which is usually the reason why the person comes to see them, and get to the root of what is causing the symptoms to not be able to subside.

Example of Energy Healing

Imagine someone comes into an office of an Energy Healer and they have a symptom of being overweight.

They share with the Energy Healer that they have done everything they can as far as diet and exercise.

They can’t seem to stick to a diet.

They can’t seem to stay on an exercise regimen.

And they feel like a failure.

They’re tired of fighting this uphill battle and losing.

It’s beginning to affect every part of their mind, and their view of life.

As they are affected by the sense of failure they begin to believe that they themselves are failures.

So what we have here is not actually the problem.

The real problem is the stored energy in the body, causing the body to believe that being thin is unsafe.

When you ask someone what is the benefit that you are reaping from this. People get angry that someone would even think that there was any benefit to this thing that they’ve been trying to get rid of.

But the truth is subconsciously there is always a benefit or we would not do it.

So our subconscious has this belief that being overweight is keeping us safe.

The subconscious main goal is to keep you safe.

No matter how many diets you go on or exercise routines you decide to come up with – your brain is going to do everything in its power to keep you safe, and that means packing on the weight.

This is why people end up bingeing at night, or falling off of their diet, or being too tired to go to the gym. These things are just symptoms of the subconscious keeping you safe.

When energy healing, we go into the subconscious energetically and find out what is going on and we clear that stored energy.

Now this can be done in a single session, or it might take longer.

A lot of times people have multiple traumas that are keeping them in situations they don’t want to be in.

But even if you were to do several energetic healing sessions and be healed from this pain that you’ve been dealing with, it is still far faster than any kind of talk therapy.

Once that energy begins to shift and leave your body, which can sometimes take 3 to 5 days after a session, then you start to notice that the things you want to do you’re able to do because there’s nothing in your subconscious sabotaging you.

Subconscious Will Always Win the Fight Against Willpower

We hear a lot about self-sabotage, and people deciding they’re just going to charge forth, make it work, use their willpower.

The problem with using willpower is that it can only last so long because it’s going up against the very wiring of your brain, whos goal is to keep you safe.

If your subconscious believes that the excess weight is a safety mechanism, there is no way your subconscious is going to let you get rid of those safety mechanisms with something like “willpower.”

Your subconscious will fight like hell against anything, even if it is your “willpower” to keep you safe.

With energy healing, we can get to the root cause of whatever subconscious belief you formed to hold on to the excess weight.

Once that energy is cleared, we bring in the belief to your subconscious that it’s safe to be at healthy weight.

Once the energy is cleared, your brain now understands that what you’re trying to do is take care of yourself.

Your brain no longer sees what you’re doing as a threat, and that makes it almost effortless to do the things you want to do.

That’s why when you see people who are doing things you want to do so effortlessly, you’re not seeing the bigger picture.

Those people don’t have blocks that are keeping them stuck in patterns.

They might have blocks around the other things, but we can’t compare ourselves to other people because we all have different journeys.

This explains why I believe energy work is one of the most fantastic tools we have for quick healing.

I am so grateful for the different kinds of healing modalities that we all have.

I think it’s beautiful that people have so many options nowadays. We all have our own path, our own journey, and healing is available for all of us.

We were all meant to live are most often authentic lives.

I hope that whatever modality you choose allows you the freedom you’re looking for.

Radical Authenticity

What if I told you that what you look like doesn’t matter?  What if I said that it had absolutely no bearing on the kind of person you are or what you deserve?  I bet most all of you would say, “well duh”.

Yet how many of us have left a dressing room almost in tears, or looked at a part of our body with disgust, or looked at someone else and wished we looked like them, or had their lives?

It’s time to start challenging this feeling that we are somehow flawed because of our appearance, or our perceived lack.

We could go on for days talking about all the social reasons why our appearance matters or shouldn’t matter.  We could talk about all of the societal standards that make us feel this way or that, but the truth is, no amount of “knowing” is going to help us get to the other side of that feeling.  I’d venture to say by now most of us are experts on calories and exercising. We know that cupcakes are bad and kale is good. We know black is slimming and stripes have to be vertical. We know which side of our face looks best in a selfie or what jeans make our butt look smaller.

Here is what few of us don’t know, that speaking kindly to ourselves affects our body and our health more than any kale ever could.  That living in authenticity and being sure to do what we are passionate about has more effect on health than a zumba class. That listening and being listened to, and truly being known and loved is more grounding than the best yoga retreat.  

So why is it that we are always striving?  Why are we so conditioned to look for whatever society tells us is what we need and believe it?

We put our true health on the side burner to make time to clean our house and go to the gym.  We drink a kale smoothie for breakfast, but grab our belly and wish it away. We avoid pictures and pools, we sit on the sidelines of life watching it happening because something in us believes that we aren’t worthy of showing up and being seen.  We are terrified of criticism, even though our own is just as bad, if not worse than someone else’s. We put ourselves into relationships that look right and are easy instead of finding people that challenge us to grow and cheer us on to be more ourselves.  We opt for familiar over fantastic, because we’ve been conditioned it’s safer. 

What if you busted out in that swimsuit and let the sun touch your chubby belly?  What if you were to get dressed up and go out on the town, even though you feel too old?  

What if I told you that the biggest critic you are afraid of, is actually yourself?  Yes I know that society has all these dumb standards not only for women, but also for men.  It’s not only outward, it’s in how we are allowed to act or feel. If we cry, we are overly emotional.  If we stand up for ourselves, we cause drama. There’s all these rules society has because we are all afraid to face our own reflection in others.   We don’t want to deal with the hard stuff, with our own feelings and emotions, so we don’t want to see that in others either. We pretend like everything is fine, so we don’t want other people to stop pretending either, for fear we will be exposed,  Most of us don’t even know what we are hiding anymore. 

We’ve been hiding for so long, that now we are hiding things we don’t even need to.  We hide in the kitchen and eat oreos, or we sneak another glass of wine. We talk behind someone’s back, in hopes that it will divert the attention away from us.  We buy things we don’t need because everyone else has them. We drive new cars with huge car payments, because that’s just what everyone does. We upgrade our houses because they feel too small.  The truth is, we feel confined and trapped by our own standards, so we are searching to make outward changes that will temporarily make us feel better.

I was once well over 300 pounds,  through sheer starvation and a desire to fit into the jacked up world I lived in, I lost over 150 pounds.  I always thought if I could just stop being so big, I’d finally be happy. The truth is, I found out that it was a lie.  It was never my weight that made me unhappy. I was more miserable thin than I’d ever been overweight. So I put all this stock in something outside of myself to make me happy, and it failed me.  I lived in a shallow world where no one could ever be honest, and we all had to be perfect. It was horrible!

I’m sure we’ve all put our ideals onto something.  Maybe it’s a friend group, a relationship, a certain amount of money or social status, a bigger house, our own business, more spirituality.  The list could go on and on. 

Here is what I have found:  nothing is more freeing and liberating than clearing off all the layers that aren’t really you and living from a place of complete wholeness and love.  When you can show up in any situation as yourself, and be in love with you, whether anyone else is or not, that’s freedom. 

The truly  magical thing that happens when we begin to live from this place of what I like to call, Radical Authenticity, is we begin to easily and naturally drop our vices.  We don’t need the protective layer anymore, the coping mechanisms. We stop feeling the need to judge, and now we can love. We stop feeling the need to cram our bodies full of food that makes us feel awful, and then our bodies naturally start communicating with us again, and restoring health.  Our relationships become full and enriching, and the ones that were sucking us dry, fall away (that’s a good thing – trust me), our finances begin to not only turn around but become abundant. Everything changes. Every day sees to get better than the last. 

I know for myself, and for my clients, that starting that path to clearing off those layers that aren’t us, can be scary.  We don’t know what to expect, and humans need familiar. I also know that I have seen the most magical, radical transformations in my own life and in my clients lives.  Nothing will ever be the same again. 

So I say, if you find yourself screaming “yes!!” inside as you are reading this, don’t delay.  Give yourself permission to heal, to strip off anything that isn’t serving you. Not only will you be SO glad you did, but the surprising thing is the people around you will too.  

The side benefit of you being completely YOU, is that you subconsciously give others permission to begin their own journey to be completely them.  How beautiful is that?? We can change the whole world by loving ourselves enough to heal! 

On the other side of healing, is everything you’ve ever wanted and SO much more!