I have found that one of the first steps to creating and living the life that you want, has to start with an awakening.
Most of us are living lives where we are merely surviving. We are doing what we need to do to get by, and this is rarely conducive to healing.
Part of becoming the person you want to be is allowing yourself to heal the things that are driving you to behave in ways that don’t feel authentic to you.
That is why so many people have “ I will ____ when…” statements. They’ll live their life the way they feel deep down inside when they do xyz. What I have come to notice is xyz rarely comes, and when it does people are very disillusioned to find out that xyz might come to pass, but they are still themselves.
They are still hiding and trying to avoid the same feelings that they were before it came to pass. It’s like the old saying that you can’t run away from your problems, because no matter where you go you’ll still be there. Our problems are rarely external.
Our external world is simply a reflection of our internal world.
So this is where the awakening comes in, when we begin to feel and notice that things are not the way we want them to be AND we decide we don’t want to stay this way anymore. This is a crucial component.
Like I said earlier, most people already notice things are off, they know something just isn’t right, but they aren’t willing to put forth any effort to change it.
The awakening comes when we no longer are willing to accept this is just part of life any more. When something inside of us calls out for something more, and we no longer push it down and shut it up.
This is the calling deep inside that we all have. This is truly where the fun part of our adventures begin.
We are all on this journey of life, ebbing and flowing through various aspects of good and bad. Most people chose the familiar over the unknown, even something inside of them tells them the unknown will bring them to life.
They are so scared of the unknown that they stay paralyzed in the familiar.
Our brains are programmed to autopilot very easily. This helps us evolve.
We drive somewhere a few times and then we no longer have to think about it. That’s why when you have to drive past someplace familiar to get to someplace new, you often end up someplace familiar, and realize you were on auto-pilot.
Our brains work this way to help us, but it does make it harder when we want something different, especially if the familiar has been familiar for generations .
For example if our parents and grandparents always worked a 9-5 job, came home, ate dinner, watched tv, and went to bed to start all over again, we will too. We crave familiarity because hundreds of thousands of years ago that kept us safe.
Here’s what isn’t safe — staying there.
The reason I say this is not because jobs or familiarity are bad themselves. When we chose to override that inner longing and calling, that’s when we are in for a lot of emotional turmoil.
I often see in my own life, and my clients lives that when they are stifling their heart and passion they begin to notice outward symptoms.
They see those symptoms as the problems themselves. They might even go to the doctor who treats the symptom. Treating symptoms doesn’t get to the root of what is really wrong.
What is really causing the symptoms is stifling your inner dreamer, silencing your pain, blaming yourself, and a million other little things that just seem so natural to you.
We live in a world where it’s normal to be overweight, to be on antidepressants, to have all of these symptoms.
When we begin to let our heart speak a little louder than our head, that awakening begins.
We start to question.
This is a beautiful place. This is the adventure. This is where the excitement begins.
It’s like if you stood in line your whole life but never knew why. Then one day you make it to the roller coaster.
We begin to think bigger thoughts than feel possible. We begin to question if we really deserve to be treated the way we are being treated.
Often times what people start with is being fed up with the symptoms.
They want to lose weight.
They hate their job.
They can’t stand being taken advantage of in relationships.
They sense there’s something more.
How to Get to Living your Fullest Life
The first step is deciding and then allowing.
I know this sounds oversimplified, but hear me out.
Once you make this decision that something has to change, everything begins to line up to allow this change.
Things begin to fall into place. Emotions come up that you haven’t felt in years, or maybe ever allowed yourself to feel.
People come into your life that weren’t there before. There’s unending possibilities of what can and will happen, but the shift has begun.
This is where I find a lot of people get really scared. They start to panic. They start to feel like they are on a dark road all alone with no map.
This is where the most beautiful thing in the world comes in. FAITH.
In my experience having faith is the same as expecting miracles. You trust something beautiful and amazing is happening to you.
I heard this perfect description of this part of the journey once.
You are driving across the country. You have your gps turned on, and it is night time.
You are now in the middle of nowhere on a wide open road. No one is around for miles.
You can only see the 300 feet in front of you that your headlights allow.
You don’t stop going because you can’t see any further in front of you.
You don’t stop because you don’t know what is going to be up ahead.
No! You have faith that your gps, your headlights and your driving skills will get there.
With each movement forward of your car, you see more of the road.
If you were to pull over, you’d be stuck only seeing 300 feet ahead of you.
This is part of your journey.
You get to trust that you are headed the right way, because your heart is your gps.
Now I am definitely not telling you that by having faith you’ll just breeze through this transformational process.
What I am telling you is that you can trust you are being guided, there is something better, you can live from a place of authenticity, and it can be scary at times, and have those feelings all at once.
Do it scared, it’ll be worth it.
Allow the awakening to transform you.
In the Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast, at the end the beast is transformed back into a human.
Anyone who had met him recently wouldn’t think of him as a human, because they’d only known him as a beast.
While I’m not at all comparing you to a beast, I just remember watching that movie as a kid and seeing the energy swirling around him as his body transformed.
He wasn’t being transformed into something new, he was being transformed into his truest self.
The old lady knew he had to go through a process.
His awakening began when he saw Belle. He instantly sensed something.
You might be sensing something now. You might be at that point where you are ready for change.
The thing I want to encourage you the most in is that:
You are not becoming someone new, you are stripping off the layers that are NOT truly you.
For a long time I lived my life as this sweet, timid push over.
I always thought about other people first, stayed quiet and in the background, and was embarrassed of so many aspects of myself.
These aspects of me came across as my personality, but it wasn’t truely me.
These were me trying to hide all my hurt, my fear, my insecurity and feel lovable.
There were aspects of me in that, but I wasn’t living from a place of authenticity.
I was living from a place of fear.
Now I’m sweet because I want to be, not because I’m afraid someone won’t like me.
I’m much more bold and confident now because I took the time to trust that inner guide that lead me to healing all of those insecurities and fears.
Does this mean I never have any moments of insecurity? Of course not. Now I am able to recognize it quickly, because now it’s actually foreign to me.
I allowed the awakening and trusted the process, and can say it was well worth it.
So to sum it all up let’s go over the steps to allowing your own awakening
- Acknowledge your discomfort is a sign. It is not something to be silenced.
- What you see as problems, are just symptoms of a deeper rooted subconscious belief. Once you are able to see that, then addiction, fear, insecurity, codependency don’t feel like character flaws anymore. They are beautiful messengers that you’ve been hiding from your pain instead of healing. There’s a good chance you’ve been doing it for longer than you know.
- Be patient with yourself. Stay in it for the long run, it’ll be worth it.
- Always remember this is a season, and true healing brings freedom. On the other side you will find the person who has been hiding inside all along. It might feel new, and yet familiar at the same time.
- Don’t go it alone. You don’t don’t have to do this alone. Not only is it ok to get help, its smart. Why not work with someone who has already gone through the process, who understands the depth and complexity of what you are going through Why not take the shortest path through. You deserve this freedom.
Most importantly — trust the process.
You have come to this time because you were meant to live free, feel deeply loved, and alive. This is all part of the great plan to awaken the person you were meant to be, and a part of you is so excited to break out of your cocoon and fly!